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These are Some of the Beliefs Of Good Democrats
(Author unknown)
- You have to believe that businesses create oppression and governments create prosperity.
- You have to believe that taxes are too low, but ATM fees are too high.
- You have to believe that guns in the hands of law-abiding Americans are more of a threat than nuclear weapons technology in the hands of Chinese and Korean communists.
- You have to believe that hunters and fishermen don't care about nature, but loony activists who have never been outside of a big city do.
- You have to believe the NRA is bad because it supports certain parts of the Constitution, while the ACLU is good because it supports certain parts of the Constitution.
- You have to be against capital punishment, but support abortion on demand.
- You have to believe that there was no art before Federal funding.
- You have to believe that global temperatures are more affected by soccer moms driving SUV's than cyclical, documented changes in the earth's climate.
- You have to believe that gender roles are artificial, but being homosexual is natural.
- You have to believe that the AIDS virus is spread by a lack of federal funding.
- You have to believe that a teacher who can't teach fourth graders how to read is somehow qualified to teach those same kids about sex.
- You have to believe that standardized tests are racist, but racial quotas and set-asides are not.
- You have to believe that self-esteem is more important than actually doing something to earn it.
- You have to believe that Margaret Sanger and Gloria Steinem are more important to American history than Thomas Jefferson, Thomas Edison, and A.G. Bell.
- You have to believe that the only reason socialism hasn't worked anywhere it has ever been tried is because the right people haven't been in charge.
- You have to believe that illegal Democrat Party funding by the Chinese Government is somehow in the best interest of the United States.
- You have to believe that homosexual parades displaying drag, transvestites and bestiality should be constitutionally protected and manger scenes at Christmas should be illegal.
- You have to believe that it's okay to give Federal workers Christmas Day off, but it's offensive to say "Merry Christmas."
- You have to believe conservatives telling the truth belong in jail, but a liar and sex offender belongs in the White House.
- You have to believe that Hillary Clinton is normal and a very nice person.
- You have to believe that this message is a part of a vast, right wing conspiracy.
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